Dear
Buku,
Happy Birthday! First of all, I
want you to know that your mom, brother and I love you very much. Indeed, all
of us are very proud of you.
I know we are not perfect
parents, but we have done our best to help you make your way through these
difficult growing-up years and prepare you for the future. I also want you to
know the intense joy your mom and I felt when you came into this world. I thank
god for sending you to us complete with a beautiful dimple on your cheek.
As you set out on your teenage, I
would like to share a few lessons I want you to think about and hopefully remember
for the rest of your life:
Education:
Education doesn’t mean just getting good grades in school. Education is about
having the right knowledge and skills so that you become a useful member of the
society. Never allow a bad teacher or a bad day in school come between you and
your pursuit for good education. As a young man facing a highly competitive 21st
century, you must have a good combination of knowledge, skills and motivation.
Without the other two, none of these three attributes are meaningful.
Values:
Your mom and I have always tried to teach you the difference between right and
wrong. Whether it is your whistling inside the house or sitting (im) properly
in a gathering, we have tried to show you what is proper and what is not. Never
lose touch with your values for they define who you are. For example, I believe
in punctuality and I never keep someone waiting once I agree on an appointment
or engagement. A set of good values will enable you to stand out from the
crowd.
Drugs and substance abuse: You know that your dad engages in occasional social
drinking. Given the gregarious culture that you have been nurtured in, I can
only wish that you will grow up to be a teetotaler. But then that is wishful
thinking and I am practical enough not to imagine that you will never drink. Lets
make a deal - the day you return home a successful young man (say, eight years
later), if I am still alive, we will raise a toast together!
Never get into drugs and
substance abuse. These are terrible things; they will destroy you and take away
your manhood and dignity. Only the weak and feeble engage in bad things like
drugs and I believe that you are too good to do that. Use your curiosity to be
creative and useful, never to use drugs and harmful substances.
Hard work:
As they say, there is no such thing as a free lunch in life. There is always
someone who pays for what you might consider as free. Work hard and you will be
rewarded. No matter what you hear later in life, I promise you there is no easy
path to riches and there is no substitute for hard work.
Responsibility: You have heard your mom and I say this a million times: “You need
to be responsible!” If you are involved in an activity or a project, act
responsibly and be a doer, if not a leader. If you make a mess, clean it up. If
you say you will do something, do it. Procrastination is the thief of time and
never allow your attitude to steal your success.
Friendship: Be true to yourself and your friends. Hang
out with people who share your values. If your friends get into wrong habits or
go down a wrong path, stand your ground and do not follow. They say that if a
friendship lasts seven years, it will last a lifetime. I suggest you to
count your friends and not the years!
Religion: Do
not criticize any religion and be tolerant of people’s faiths. Believe in
kismet, destiny and karma. If lighting a butter lamp or visiting a temple gives
you peace of mind, do so.
Love: You
will meet lots and lots of girls in your life. Treat them all with dignity and
respect. When it comes to selecting a girl to be your life partner, care more
about her inner beauty than her outward appearance. With your dimpled good
looks, I think you deserve the best – both inwardly and outwardly.
I will stop with these eight lessons.
Your mom and I want one more important thing for you. We want you to be happy.
Really, truly happy! You know what? You can’t be truly happy unless you have
joy. Do you know where joy comes from? Joy will come if you practice the above-mentioned
lessons in your life.
Keep this letter with you, always
– so that long after I am gone, it will remind you that you had parents who
loved you much.
With all our love,
