Between the Old and the New - Life Continues!

 1.      Introduction: It is same, same, and yet new!

Time doesn’t pause, it continues to tick and move forward. Time and tide wait for none is merely a cliché, now that we know what it means. The round IKEA clock clinging like a koala on a eucalyptus tree on the wall of my living room continues to chime. Nothing has changed between yesterday and today. We continue to follow the same routine, at least I do.

January 1st is not a public holiday in Bhutan. I will drive to work tomorrow in my mid-age i20 like I have been doing for the past many years, probably wearing a gho I bought five years ago. At work, the same Kamali Maya will hand over a cup of pale hot water with some small twigs afloat. Kamali calls it green tea I call it inefficiency! For someone who makes so much fuss about a perfect brew at home, it is a big sacrifice to have to settle for a much lesser drink at work. The same tall and heavy boss cum supervisor of mine will saunter into his chamber as he has been doing for the last near five years. The same shared facilities, the same everything, yet today is old, tomorrow will be new.

Happy New Year sir, Jigme, my subordinate colleague bowed in traditional sincerity as he peeped through the goray (traditional Bhutanese door curtain) today. Half a dozen calls, scores of Facebook messages and several short messages on my mobile continue to remind me that New Year is here.  Happy New Year, I respond to everyone, taking an hour of office time to reciprocate and send out the three words around the world.

2.     Purpose

As a budding blogger with a small, yet keen followership, I wanted to write and post something on New Year’s Eve. This essay is intended to wish all my friends and relatives a very happy and successful new year as well as to keep my blogging spirit alive!

This essay is divided into six sections: 1) introduction, 2) Purpose, 3) Villains of 2015, 4) Heroes of 2015, 5) Prayers for 2016 and 6) Afterword. It is written without malice or favour towards anyone.

3.     Villains of 2015

In this section, I have written about a couple of issues bothering the conscience of people like me during the last 365 days.

a.     The neighbourhood builder

During the last four years, a huge five-storied building has been constructed brick by brick and truck by truck in front of my current residence in Changzamtog. The building is nearing completion with over zealous tenants occupying half-completed flats since October 2015.

Even as the owner built the building block by block, he destroyed the neighbourhood drain-by-drain, road-by-road and dirt-by-dirt. As he nears the completion of his mammoth RCC structure, the landlord has ensured that the neighbourhood is in ruins. Thanks to his careless and carefree attitude, his success has meant that the neighbourhood drain has disappeared below a pile of construction debris and the road has transformed into slushy pools.

Meanwhile, apparently our Thromde (Municipality) has no clue about what goes on within its jurisdiction. Elections for the next Thrompoen (Mayor) have been announced for the 3^rd week of January 2016. How I wish that the mayor would come around to identify problems to be addressed.  However, he has no motivation and reason to go house-by-house and understand problems and possible solutions. As per the Election Act of the Kingdom of Bhutan 2008, only a Bhutanese whose census is registered within a municipality is eligible to vote for a mayor of that municipality. Sounds fair enough, but consider this: more than ninety percent of Thimphu’s population consists of individuals and households whose censuses are registered in other districts.

As per Kuensel dated Dec 29, 2015, Thimphu municipality has only 7,275 eligible voters, whereas the total population of Thimphu is estimated at more than 100,000 in 2015. The majority consists of civil servants, corporate employees, private sector employees, businessmen, entrepreneurs and their extra baggage of relatives and dependents. As I am not a registered resident of Thimphu but a mere employed and salaried dweller, I have no voting rights in Thimphu! When a tiny minority (7%) decides for a whopping majority, prospective as well as real mayors are less inclined and motivated to listen to the masses.

Alas! This neither is the democracy that the ancient Greeks designed nor the one our kings wished.  How one wishes that Bhutan’s Election Commission would enfranchise all residents to vote for municipal elections. If that was the case, perhaps the Thrompoen might be more representative and responsible!

b.    Terrorism and waning tolerance worldwide

By recent world standards it may, perhaps, be wrong to say that violence and terrorism were new activities in 2015. Unfortunately, violence, terrorism and killing of innocent civilians have been going on for decades. 2015 was no better and terrorism and intolerance continued to rear their ugly heads.

Between Charlie Hebdo, the Bataclan, the Erawan Shrine in Bangkok, several shootings in the USA and the continuous carnage in Syria, Iraq and Afghanistan violence was the new order in 2015.  The instances of mindless violence against the weak and vulnerable were too many to recount here.

Muslim Rohingyas continued to be persecuted in predominantly Buddhist Myanmar in 2015. In September, a mob of Hindu fanatics attacked a Muslim family in Uttar Pradesh state of India lynching a 52-year-old man and seriously injuring his son. Why? Because the Muslim family was suspected of storing and eating beef, which is against the religious belief of the Hindus. Also in September, Israeli soldiers shot a Palestinian child in the face as she played on the balcony of her family home in the West Bank.  During the year, America, which prides itself to be the beacon of freedom and fairness, saw several cases of white police officers shooting and killing black men for insubstantial reasons. Between Ferguson, Baltimore and Chicago, the USA continued to burn in white fires of racial discrimination.

The case of the Clock Boy, Ahmed Mohamed, in the USA, perhaps, underscores the increasing racial profiling the world has seen in recent times. Indeed, stereotyping and racial profiling is so intense in several countries that Sikhs have been regularly attacked mistaken as Muslims. This is not to say that Muslims must be attacked!

During private moments as well as social mulling, an increasing number of people around the world must be wondering if everything is right with Islam. We tend to wear our judgmental hats and declare that Muslims are violent.   Then I remember the few Muslims whom I have met in my life – classmates at my MBA in the Netherlands- and immediately decide that they were as humane as anyone else.

A few days ago Iranian President Hasan Rouhani vindicated the feeling among a certain section of the societies around the world when he said that ‘most violence, terror and massacres, unfortunately, take place in the Islamic world’. Addressing many leaders from around the Islamic world gathered at the 29th International Islamic Unity Conference in Tehran, President Hasan said that Islamic extremist groups were creating a militant picture of Islam and urged Muslim countries to strive to improve the world's opinion of Islam. However, several incidences that took place around the world (as summarised above) in 2015 indicate that every major country, community and religion is involved and needs to improve the world’s opinion of it.  It is not just Islam!

At a time when the world is becoming a global village, racial profiling is increasing in the west. The old adage of not talking about religion and politics at the dinner table to avoid quarrel has never been truer as it is today. Religion is something people generally take so seriously that they have fought and died in the name of a particular belief system since the dawn of mankind.

When moral and cultural issues and etiquettes are decided by the majority and enforced on the minority, it is hard to expect societal cohesion and peace. Resistance and resistance leading to violence are, unfortunately, simple corollaries! Even as millions around the world fight economic poverty, the world is also stricken by moral and cultural poverty. Thinking right and finding lasting peaceful solutions to problems are in serious short supply.

Today, violence is so pervasive that most countries around the world seem to accept a certain level of violence. In other words, it is difficult to take peace for granted. Peace is relative and is enjoyed in varying degree by countries around the world. I am fortunate to live in a country, which enjoys a very high level of peace and tranquility by any standard. By the standards of many countries and societies that are at the epicentre of the current turmoil, Bhutan today is indeed a Shangrila. 

4.     Heroes of 2015

In this section, I have shared my thoughts about a few relatives – mostly nephews and nieces – with an intention to encourage and motivate them to keep going as well as to serve as model stories for other young relatives to follow.

Relatives and friends who have not been included here should not feel left out or disowned. I love each one of you the same and wish you all a very happy new year. The narration is done in reverse alphabetical order and doesn’t indicate any ranking or merit.

a.     Rup Pokhrel

I haven’t met Rup in person. However, the several Skype calls and the umpteen Facebook interactions that we have had have convinced me that this man is definitive and objective of purpose. There is a saying that a person is judged by the company he keeps. I say that the quality of a son is judged by his attitude towards his old parents.

Traditionally, among ethnic Nepalese, elderly parents chose to spend their terminal years either with their eldest or youngest sons. Rup is neither the eldest nor the youngest in his family. Yet his parents chose to stay with him although his wife is a Chhetri and his parents are traditional purebred bahuns (Brahmins). The other sons and daughters-in-law are known to be no less caring and responsible. Thus, it was a measured move taken by his parents to initiate a change in the family of traditional Brahmins to accept people by their hearts and not by their castes alone. Rup has not only taken upon the responsibility of taking care of his parents, but also shoulders it with élan and pride.

I was impressed to know that Rup is a teetotaler and doesn’t smoke. These are excellent qualities to have in anyone in any part of the world. However, these qualities have even better values when it comes to living with your elderly parents. Thanks to Rup and his brothers, his father received good spiritual, material and medicinal care and died a very dignified natural death. Meanwhile, his mom continues to enjoy her life in the USA.

The Pittsburgh community didn’t take much time to recognize Rup’s contribution to the community. Here was a young man who was committed to helping and guiding those around him. In August, he was recognized and awarded as a Community Health Partnership Champion by the University of Pittsburgh Medical Centre, Centre for Engagement and Inclusion.

Rup receiving the UPMC Award

I have come to know Rup because he is my good friend late Omnath’s younger brother. As a friend of three decades, Omnath was dear to me and the care and affection that Rup had for his late brother endeared him to me. At a time when most of his relatives and friends forsook Omnath for his small waywardly habits, Rup tried his best to supplement love and care that Omnath lacked in his dying days.

Omnath was lucky to have a brother like Rup! The two brothers not only looked similar but also, perhaps, shared telepathic relationship. By the time he answered an early call from the grim reaper, Omnath had written more than thirteen stories reflecting his own life, societal maladies and fantastic romances. The truth of what he wrote in those lovely stories lay buried in the shadow of his untimely demise, until his brother Rup gave them life and published ‘The Silhouette of Truth’.

On behalf of my late friend, I thank Rup for resurrecting Omnath among his friends and relatives. I also hope that he will continue to find purpose and direction in life to be the family patriarch and a good community leader.    

b.    Preeti Nirola

Preeti was born cute and continues to radiate charm. After her Bachelor Degree, she was unable to immediately find a job in the competitive Bhutanese job market. However, she pursued with her passion in graphics and designs eventually leading the design and layout of a weekly Bhutanese tabloid.  A cool and caring father helped her overcome her initial tensions of remaining largely unemployed. Even after she graduated from college, her father continued to see her as his lovely little girl and put no pressure on Preeti to go out and earn.

Preeti has matured over the years and provides good gel for family bondage. When she decided to move to Dubai in pursuit of a long-term professional engagement, her parents, relatives and well wishers were quite worried about her adaptability to the new job and environs. Will she be able to handle the pressure of the job in retail trade in a foreign land? During the last month and half since she emigrated, Preeti has silenced much of the worries. Today, she is settled on her job and seems to be enjoying life. The fact that she continues to post regular updates on Facebook with her trademark hash tags is a major testimony to that.

As the only daughter of my only brother, Preeti has always been close to me. I pray that she will shine among her colleagues, rise up the ranks at work and make good money allowing her to indulge in her hobbies - good food and clothes. I also hope that she will give us an opportunity to celebrate as she decides to settle down in life with the man she loves! 

c.     Prem Kumar Bhattarai

He bears a striking physical resemblance to his father, with his brownish and, often, unkempt looks. However, Kumar, as his parents lovingly call him, bears a very soft and gentle personality.

He has always been known to be a very hard working and ambitious young man. He is also very articulate, a quality lacking in most people of his generation. When his higher secondary results didn’t turn out as per his (and others) expectations, Kumar was so upset with himself that he even took the disappointments expressed by some of his relatives as outright scorn. Since that fateful spring day about four years ago, Kumar fought back hard, humming along the way, to glory. As a result of his hard work, determination, and perhaps, his will to show those who scorned him when he struggled, Kumar finds himself among a select group of university graduates chosen to enter the Bhutan civil service as first class officers.

I am not sure if his parents have understood the significance of Kumar’s recent achievement; however, his two brothers and numerous educated relatives, such as me, have understood it. I wish Kumar a very successful career ahead. I hope, like a true champion, he will continue to dream and work hard to reach his goals. Good luck, Bhanij!

d.    My American nephews

Among ethnic Nepalese, the sons and daughters of one’s sisters are considered among the closest (and even pious) of relatives. In fact, nephews and nieces from sisters’ side are even addressed with respect, unlike those from brothers’ side. As far as nephews and nieces are concerned, I am filthy rich. I have many and three of them are in the United States of America – Deepak, Raju and Prakash. While Deepak and Raju are from my third elder sister, Prakash is the lone son of my second eldest sister.

It is a matter of pride and satisfaction to note that all three of them are doing well in their respective fields. Deepak, the eldest of the trio regularly comes out on top of his colleagues at work in Hampton; he has won several awards from his employer. Raju is pursuing his education, while providing (together with his caring wife) day-to-day moral support and purpose of life to his parents. His doll of a daughter provides the family, especially her grandparents, with new charm and enthusiasm in life.

Academically, it is Prakash who is creating a lot of buzz and excitement among his well-wishers. I am also excited about it. Prakash is so focussed in his academic pursuit that he lives away from his family (including his young wife) in a students’ house.

Way to go – Bhanijs! I wish each one of you greater success in 2016. Deepak needs to catch up on academic pursuits. I also wish Prakash and his wife a successful impending parenthood. Let me know if I become a granduncle or a grandaunt as a joke goes!

e.     Dolly Giri

Sarada was born a roundish chubby girl earning her the pet moniker (Dolly) she is known by among her relatives today. However, she has demonstrated good sportsmanship and even uses the nickname as her Facebook identity!

Dolly is fearsome, focussed and highly caring. The unfortunate and untimely demise of her mom about four years ago compelled her to mature overnight and bear the family lantern in her nimble hands. And she has risen rapidly up the family ladder to be its patriarch.

During the last couple of years, she has managed her family well, including the successful wedding of her elder sister, the rehabilitation of her father, who was struggling with some untoward aspects of his lifestyle and the college education of her younger sister. Besides, she has also found the time and motivation to further her own education.

As a good and caring niece, she reminds Tika and me that we do have a daughter! I wish Dolly successful completion of her first degree; may her thirst for education continue. A sweet girl as Dolly deserves a boy out of the imaginary. Tika and I pray that she will find a suitable partner as soon as she decides to have one.

f.      Bindhya Pokhrel

At home she responds to her pet moniker kali. When she struggled into her higher secondary standards, most of us had given up on Bindhya. ‘She will complete her Bachelor Degree, but that will be about it. We can’t expect too much from her’, was the frail prophesy. Contrary to the general fear and worry, she came out of her class 12 examinations with such flying colours that even the rare Himalayan butterflies looked monotonous in comparison.   After Yangchenphug, Gaeddug was her next port of call, where she anchored well. Although she had to face the tragic demise of her only sibling (younger brother) in the midst of her studies, she did herself and Gaeddug proud by emerging among the duxes.

End 2013 was a blissful moment in our family – thanks to Bindhya. At a time when young college graduates seeking to enter the job market in Bhutan are finding it increasingly difficult to land a meaningful job, Bindhya landed three at a time. Besides passing Bhutan’s Royal Civil Service Examination and securing one of the limited jobs in the civil service, Bindhya was also selected by Bhutan Telecom and Bhutan National Bank Ltd through competitive interviews. For a change, Bindhya and the family were faced with the proverbial problem of plenty! Over a few family dinners, we conducted SWOT and cost benefit analyses of the various options and eventually advised Bindhya to choose the Bank.

 Someone has perhaps quite appropriately said, ‘don’t choose a job choose a boss’. A good boss is particularly important during the formative years of a young professional. Bindhya has not been quite lucky as far as her supervisors are concerned. Nevertheless, Bindhya continues to be a role model in the family and in our social circle. Whether it is her choice of pure vegetable diet, a good dose of daily religio-spiritual regimen, or a gift of her gab, Bindhya regularly punches above her weight and no pun intended here!

Bindhya has always been a part of the family. Having held her as a baby and seen her grow through the years, I don’t need to glorify her importance to my family. I wish her a successful pursuit of her second degree and beyond. As she sets out on her academic pursuits, I hope that she will find someone worthy of being a life partner to her.

5.     Prayers for 2016

In this section, I have chosen a few people of national, public and personal importance to wish them well in 2016 and beyond.

a.     Her Majesty, The Queen of Bhutan

Any motherhood is important, but when you are bearing the heir apparent and future king of a country, its significance is multiplied. When his Majesty, the King announced the imminent birth of the sixth king of Bhutan on 11 Nov, the whole nation rejoiced.

As the country waits for the arrival of the royal baby and the future king, we pray collectively and wish Their Majesties a successful and happy parenthood. I wish her Majesty good health and a very successful and blissful motherhood. We are certain that our future king will be as noble and worthy as his father and the rest of his lineage have been.

b.    Ritu Raj Chhetri, MP

As I write this during the last week of 2015, Member of Parliament, Sipsu Constituency, Hon’ble Ritu Raj Chhetri is struggling for life in an intensive care unit in Samitivej Sukhumvit Hospital, Bangkok, Thailand.  

They say fate guides the willing and drags the unwilling. Ritu was neither willing nor unwilling. He was a practical person, who believed in god, but always locked his car. However, he was a bit careless and casual with his health. He was heavy right from his college days and went on to collect additional kilograms of weight and blood sugar. Diabetes got the better of him and in the ensuing struggle he lost one eye.

As an old mate I wish Ritu speedy recovery so that he is able to regain normal health.

c.     My parents-in-law

As fate would have it, my in-laws got separated when my would-be wife was a young girl. Soon after getting divorced, both mom and dad got a new spouse each. Thereafter, they went their separate ways. Today, my mother-in-law is in the USA with her second husband, while father-in-law is down under with his second wife and son. Both my in-laws have reached their advanced ages and thrive on good medical care in their new home countries. My wife and I wish them (as well as their current spouses) good health and happiness in 2016 and beyond.  

6.    Afterword

As a popular refrain goes, ‘until the lion learns how to write, every tale will glorify the hunter’. In this essay, I am neither the hunter nor the hunted. I find myself as a meek deer watching the power play between the devils and the angels and reflecting what is right and what can be improved.

A word of caution – Remember New Year eve and New Year day are also times for misadventure and notoriety among our youth and the unemployed. Going by past trends, there may be untoward incidents in the wee hours of the New Year as the citizens of one of the happiest nations on earth stagger home after several rounds of Druk 11000 (the most popular strong lager beer brewed in Bhutan) in bars, discotheques, streets and drains.  To translate a Hindi adage loosely, ‘if you want to enjoy a peaceful sleep, stay awake’! May your new year be full of gleeful oxymorons!