Cow to Coconut - A few Unrelated Tales

Introduction

“…The villager tied the cow to a coconut tree. By the way, cow is a four footed domestic animal”.  So the story goes! An Indian English teacher of mine told me this story years ago.

There was a student in a certain school in India, who was always ill prepared for his examinations. He was an indolent boy. When it came to writing essays for his English language examinations, he always wrote about ‘a cow’. Whatever might have been the topic of the essay, he found ways to write about his cow. As the story goes, during one examination students were asked to write about coconut trees. The cow student was befuddled for a while. However, before long he connived and started his essay.

“Once upon a time, there was a man in a village in Kerala. He had a field of coconuts. He also had a cow. One day, the villager took his cow and tied it to one coconut tree…”

“By the way, cow is a domestic animal…”

In this blog, I am going to imitate the Indian boy and tell you a few ‘cow to coconut’ stories. Doesn’t matter if the stories are connected or not, I assure you that you will enjoy reading them!

Snarling taxi drivers and a blue book

Every year in the month of January I go to the Road Safety and Transport Authority (RSTA), a government of Bhutan department that is responsible for regulating and administrating road transportation in Bhutan, including the testing and licensing of drivers, registering motor vehicles and administering rules and policies on surface transport.

Every January I need to remember that the renewal of my annual vehicle tax falls on the 20^th of the New Year month. As I was going on my annual leave to faraway Bhangtar towards the third week of January, there was an additional reason to ensure that I updated my vehicle ‘bluebook’ on time. For when I drive to Neoly, it is an international journey traversing the plains of West Bengal and Assam States of India. The police and the army personnel in these parts of India are some of the crudest in the world. They can give you a pain in the rear even when you have all the documents legal and current.

11^th of January 2016 was a normal day. Like the past several days, the winter sun shone brightly through the windows of my office. Together with the duplicate Chinese made radiator heater, the sun rendered my office warm and workable. Yet I was restless! There was a short battle between my head and heart.

‘I must renew my vehicle documents within this week’, advised my little inner self. ‘I will go and find out if RSTA is busy these days; and go for the actual work, may be tomorrow’, I thought silently. ‘No, it is better to be prepared with all the documents and monies. What if you don’t find a long queue at the RSTA and you haven’t carried your documents?’, shot back the little one inside me.

I got up from my swivel chair and checked my wallet. I didn’t have enough money. Ngultrum 2,060 is what costs annually to renew documents for a vehicle of up to 1500 cc. I put my Bank of Bhutan ATM card in my sack of a pocket – touted as the largest pocket in the world. I looked around my office and picked up one DHI diary, produced by DHI’s Media and PR Unit. In Bhutan calendars, year planners, diaries, tea coasters and numerous other items are produced by the corporate world and distributed among stakeholders and the general public as New Year souvenirs.

I stepped out of my office, got into my car and drove towards RSTA, about five kilometers southeast on the other side of Thimpchhu (river). On the way I stopped by a BoB ATM and withdrew Nu. three thousand.  As I drove, I was doubtful that I would be able to have my work done. Doubts lingered as I parked my red i20 by the roadside, as the official car park was full.

At the RSTA, I thrust the DHI diary in the hands of Dhan Bahadur, a RSTA employee, who has risen through the ranks to occupy a chair at the back of the service room. Dhan was visibly happy and said, ‘thank you, sir’. For a fleeting second he probably thought that I had gone to see him solely to present the New Year gift. However, before he could detangle his hand from mine from the extended handshake we were engaged in, I blurted out,  ‘bhai, you need to help me. I have got to renew my blue book’.

There was a long queue of mostly taxi drivers waiting to avail of various motor vehicles related services. Through the service counter, they could see that I was trying to cut corners. I didn’t have the courage to look at the crowd; from the corner of my eyes I could see several faces smirking at me.

The diary and my long association with Dhan worked wonders. I was able to pay my annual vehicle tax on time and update my car documents.  How I wish there was an online system of doing all these!

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Efficient pizza and lazy ambulance

Pizza is becoming popular by the day in Thimphu. Ever since Seasons Pizzeria was established two decades ago, many pizza themed restaurants have come up in Thimphu. Druk Pizza is today one of the most popular, especially for its free home delivery with a free 250 ml coke.   While Seasons has stuck with its high end and expatriate clientele, Druk is popular among the middle class Bhutanese. They not only provide free home delivery, but also give you a coupon for every purchase. You collect ten of them and get a pizza of your choice FREE! I am always amazed by the sense of purpose and responsibility with which my younger son collects the coupons. If he puts the same level of diligence in his studies, I can tell you that he will go very far in life.

The other day I ordered a large size pizza - cheese with ham - from Druk Pizza. Pronto! The pizza was delivered in less than half an hour to the delight of my dimpled cheeked son. This got me thinking and philosophizing a bit.  

These are times when you get a Pizza delivered at your place in thirty minutes, but it takes three hours for an ambulance to arrive. Perhaps, it is time for the pizza parlour and hospital ambulance service to swap their leadership. If public services were delivered with the efficiency and expediency of a pizza, this world would be a much safer and better world. People can actually wait for an hour or more for their pizza, they can plan for the pizza, but not three hours to evacuate a patient to hospital. In any case, those who order their pizza are not exactly poor and hungry – they have plenty of alternative food at home. On the contrary, people who no have access to other means of transportation need ambulance services.  What an irony!

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Two street boys and a dose of philanthropy

About a week ago, when I was returning home from work I came across two young boys walking on the pavement. As I was passing them, the younger one bent down a bit and showed me his tiny thumb. I understood! They were hitchhiking - looking for a ride home. I stopped my car and let them in. As we drove from the NPPF colony to the Druk School junction, I asked the boy ‘how did you learn to show that thumb?’ ‘From the TV sir’, he responded quickly. He was delighted that his thumb had worked.

From the conversation we had during the short drive, I came to know that the older boy was twelve and going to class eight next year, whereas the younger one was nine and going to class four. They were cousins and lived in the NPPF quarters in Kalabazaar. As I stopped my car at the Druk School junction, I fished out a fifty ngultrum note and handed it over to the younger one. ‘This is for the two of you to buy some sweets’, I said and dropped them there.

As I drove home to complete the remaining 800 meters to DSB building in Changzamtog, I felt very happy. I thought of my own two boys.

Conclusion

So, you see! Like the canny Indian boy I wrote a few cow to coconut stories to amuse you. I hope you enjoyed reading them.